"I Think Therefore I Am" Disproved

Imagine a fictional character with thoughts. It thinks, but it does not exist. So long, basis for Cartesian philosophy. It's that simple. You're done.

Some might object that since our fictional character is imaginary, it doesn't have real thoughts, i.e. doesn't think. However, that alone still disproves Descartes' argument. Why? Well, it turns "I exist" into an implied premise of "I think", and therefore is an example of circular argument (also known as begging the question).

Hockey Night In Canada

First of all, the Leafs just whomped the best team in the league. Good to see that their inconsistency apparently has high points too.

Second, I realized for the first time that Don Cherry and Ron MacLean are like William Shatner and James Spader on Boston Legal: A somewhat overweight old conservative and a younger, more liberal, more eloquent counterpart, with genuine mutual love. Hilarious.

Hospital

So this morning I'm biking to class. After arriving on campus, I bend down to lock up my bike, and with no warning have intense, horrible back spasms. I end up half-sitting, half-laying on the pavement out of necessity. With some difficulty, I manage to get back to my feet, and decide to go to class in hopes that sitting down and relaxing my back will fix everything.

Even as I begin walking, it's definitely not my normal stride or speed. It worsens as I go, and soon I realize I can't walk all the way to class; I need to sit immediately. There is a convenient pair of couches in the hall. A girl is typing on her laptop on one of them; I sit on the other one. After about 5 minutes, the pain is getting worse, so I lie down on the couch. This gives me a bit of relief, until I realize that trying to sit up, stand up, or even roll a bit or lift my legs up sends me into agonizing pain. I wait about 10 minutes in hopes of the pain subsiding, but it only gets worse. At this point, I realize that it's necessary to get help. Unfortunately, I don't have a cell phone, and I can't move my torso more than a small wriggle without unbearable pain.

At this point, laptop girl probably suspects I'm hitting on her when I break out with "This may sound strange, but something is wrong with my back, and I can't even sit up." She offers to physically help me up, but that idea is agony waiting to happen. I ask if she can call someone. She calls her boyfriend (sigh) who in turn calls the campus emergency people (non-sigh). They quickly decide that an ambulance is warranted, and while we wait for it, one of them regales me with stories about how he took sociology, hates being a campus emergency guy, and wishes he'd taken physics.

When the paramedics arrive, it's painful to even get me into the gurney, but we manage it. While in the ambulance, they inform me that there's a charge for the ambulance. I briefly consider being annoyed that they didn't give me a chance to decline the ambulance, but then I realize: I couldn't walk! What am I going to do, wriggle to the hospital? I wouldn't have even made it to the campus building's door yet. Also, the cost was only $45.00, so it could be a lot worse. En route, the ambulance stalls. Auspicious. As we're pulling into the hospital driveway, the ambulance stalls again, in the middle of the entranceway, and this time for good. Thankfully, we were at the hospital so this didn't really affect me.

As the bitter campus emergency guy had informed me, the paramedics are required to wait with me until the hospital lets me in. During this time, I have to urinate, and am presented with a folding screen for privacy and a bottle. I didn't feel particularly dignified, but not having to pee anymore can be quite the relief. After an hour and a half or so, I am taken to a hospital room, where I wait for another three hours or so, and fill another two bottles. I also convince the nurse to leave a message for Lisa so that she knows what's happening. Finally, I note that restlessness is a much bigger problem when moving around at all hurts.

At long last, the doctor arrives, and spends all of 30 seconds with me before (accurately) realizing that I need painkillers or he won't even be able to test me. Cue another 30 min wait for the anesthesiologist to show up. When she does, the drug (Demerol) has to be injected into my ass muscle. Apparently its size makes it ideal for this purpose for some reason. Cue a 30 min wait to let the drug kick in. It doesn't. In order to inject the other one, Toradol, I am literally required to turn the other cheek. I feel violated. Cue another 30 min wait to let the drug kick in.

Finally I am taken to have X-rays done. I am still unable to move from lying down to sitting up or standing, but thanks to the Toradol I am barely able to roll over onto the X-ray table. At first, some coins fall out of my pocket, and I inadvertently roll on them, ruining the first image. Removing the coins is ridiculously difficult as I have lots of trouble raising my torso and pelvis. While the X-ray guy is removing the coins, he (either accidentally or very smoothly) gets a bit of a feel of my junk. I feel violated. The X-rays are taken. Cue another wait for someone to bring me back to the room. Cue another wait for the doctor to show up again.

When he does show up, he doesn't really tell me what the x-rays showed or what he thinks caused it (I might have asked were I not so out of it). He does, however, tell me that he thinks it will get better on its own soon, and prescribes an anti-inflammatory, and percocet for the pain. He also warns me that if I experience bowel or bladder control issues, then something terrible is happening and I need to go back to the hospital immediately. With this, he verifies that I can now sit and stand (both barely) and sets me free. Never mind that I can't even put my shoes on, and nearly pass out upon standing up (I have to lie down immediately and wait for a few minutes). In fairness, that might be because I had only eaten half a bowl of cereal at that point, itself due largely to having spent 8 hours in a hospital. I voice my concerns, but shakily walk out to the waiting room.

I call our apartment. No answer. Lisa has probably gotten the message and tried to come meet me. As I debate waiting for her or calling Claire and Bevin begging for a ride, I note how annoying it is that all my TO friends with cars are people I interact with largely over MSN, and I don't know their phone numbers. After approximately 60 seconds of thinking about this, I spot Lisa and her sister, who kindly drove us to the drugstore.

During the car ride, I nearly pass out again, but some fresh air and an iced tea subdue that problem. I am grateful for Lisa buying me a sub, Lisa's sister driving, and the York TA drug plan for only charging me $3 per prescription. I am also struck by the similarity of my plight for much of the day to paralysis. I'm not sure whether to admire the moxie of paralyzed people or scorn them for not committing suicide. I'm sure I would seriously consider it if this was a permanent condition.

Pictures

Ooh, two updates in one day. I felt obligated after being quiet for so long.

Anyway, here are the latest cat pics and also some other random shots. Enjoy.

Why Feminism Is Stupid

Now that I've alienated you with my sensationalist title, let me clarify a little. There are, depending on who you ask, many potential definitions of the word feminism. Most of them seem to fit roughly into two categories:

1. People who want to improve female status to the point that it is equal to male status, or
2. People who want to improve female status regardless of male status.

As for the latter category, it should be fairly obvious that wanting females to possess an elevated status solely by virtue of being female is not a distinct argument from wanting males to possess an elevated status solely by virtue of being male. In other words, this category of feminism is as bad as the patriarchal society they rail against.

The former category, however, is at least in theory looking for equality, a viewpoint I myself promote. Why then would I call them stupid? Well, they chose the name feminism. This is vaguely analogous to a Palestinian group calling themselves "Kill all Jews" while advocating peace. It has the additional negative of turning many men off of their cause, whether through fear of ridicule ("I don't want sexist men to associate me with a WOMAN cause") or (mis-?)interpretation of the term feminism ("I agree with them, but look at the name, it's obviously a group for women").

And if that's the definition you accept, what is the opposite of a feminist? A masculinist? That believes the exact same thing?

I suppose "equalist" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely, but at least it or some such thing would avoid the problems mentioned above, and wouldn't be itself an example of the exclusion they would like to destroy.