Hospital
So this morning I'm biking to class. After arriving on campus, I bend down to lock up my bike, and with no warning have intense, horrible back spasms. I end up half-sitting, half-laying on the pavement out of necessity. With some difficulty, I manage to get back to my feet, and decide to go to class in hopes that sitting down and relaxing my back will fix everything.
Even as I begin walking, it's definitely not my normal stride or speed. It worsens as I go, and soon I realize I can't walk all the way to class; I need to sit immediately. There is a convenient pair of couches in the hall. A girl is typing on her laptop on one of them; I sit on the other one. After about 5 minutes, the pain is getting worse, so I lie down on the couch. This gives me a bit of relief, until I realize that trying to sit up, stand up, or even roll a bit or lift my legs up sends me into agonizing pain. I wait about 10 minutes in hopes of the pain subsiding, but it only gets worse. At this point, I realize that it's necessary to get help. Unfortunately, I don't have a cell phone, and I can't move my torso more than a small wriggle without unbearable pain.
At this point, laptop girl probably suspects I'm hitting on her when I break out with "This may sound strange, but something is wrong with my back, and I can't even sit up." She offers to physically help me up, but that idea is agony waiting to happen. I ask if she can call someone. She calls her boyfriend (sigh) who in turn calls the campus emergency people (non-sigh). They quickly decide that an ambulance is warranted, and while we wait for it, one of them regales me with stories about how he took sociology, hates being a campus emergency guy, and wishes he'd taken physics.
When the paramedics arrive, it's painful to even get me into the gurney, but we manage it. While in the ambulance, they inform me that there's a charge for the ambulance. I briefly consider being annoyed that they didn't give me a chance to decline the ambulance, but then I realize: I couldn't walk! What am I going to do, wriggle to the hospital? I wouldn't have even made it to the campus building's door yet. Also, the cost was only $45.00, so it could be a lot worse. En route, the ambulance stalls. Auspicious. As we're pulling into the hospital driveway, the ambulance stalls again, in the middle of the entranceway, and this time for good. Thankfully, we were at the hospital so this didn't really affect me.
As the bitter campus emergency guy had informed me, the paramedics are required to wait with me until the hospital lets me in. During this time, I have to urinate, and am presented with a folding screen for privacy and a bottle. I didn't feel particularly dignified, but not having to pee anymore can be quite the relief. After an hour and a half or so, I am taken to a hospital room, where I wait for another three hours or so, and fill another two bottles. I also convince the nurse to leave a message for Lisa so that she knows what's happening. Finally, I note that restlessness is a much bigger problem when moving around at all hurts.
At long last, the doctor arrives, and spends all of 30 seconds with me before (accurately) realizing that I need painkillers or he won't even be able to test me. Cue another 30 min wait for the anesthesiologist to show up. When she does, the drug (Demerol) has to be injected into my ass muscle. Apparently its size makes it ideal for this purpose for some reason. Cue a 30 min wait to let the drug kick in. It doesn't. In order to inject the other one, Toradol, I am literally required to turn the other cheek. I feel violated. Cue another 30 min wait to let the drug kick in.
Finally I am taken to have X-rays done. I am still unable to move from lying down to sitting up or standing, but thanks to the Toradol I am barely able to roll over onto the X-ray table. At first, some coins fall out of my pocket, and I inadvertently roll on them, ruining the first image. Removing the coins is ridiculously difficult as I have lots of trouble raising my torso and pelvis. While the X-ray guy is removing the coins, he (either accidentally or very smoothly) gets a bit of a feel of my junk. I feel violated. The X-rays are taken. Cue another wait for someone to bring me back to the room. Cue another wait for the doctor to show up again.
When he does show up, he doesn't really tell me what the x-rays showed or what he thinks caused it (I might have asked were I not so out of it). He does, however, tell me that he thinks it will get better on its own soon, and prescribes an anti-inflammatory, and percocet for the pain. He also warns me that if I experience bowel or bladder control issues, then something terrible is happening and I need to go back to the hospital immediately. With this, he verifies that I can now sit and stand (both barely) and sets me free. Never mind that I can't even put my shoes on, and nearly pass out upon standing up (I have to lie down immediately and wait for a few minutes). In fairness, that might be because I had only eaten half a bowl of cereal at that point, itself due largely to having spent 8 hours in a hospital. I voice my concerns, but shakily walk out to the waiting room.
I call our apartment. No answer. Lisa has probably gotten the message and tried to come meet me. As I debate waiting for her or calling Claire and Bevin begging for a ride, I note how annoying it is that all my TO friends with cars are people I interact with largely over MSN, and I don't know their phone numbers. After approximately 60 seconds of thinking about this, I spot Lisa and her sister, who kindly drove us to the drugstore.
During the car ride, I nearly pass out again, but some fresh air and an iced tea subdue that problem. I am grateful for Lisa buying me a sub, Lisa's sister driving, and the York TA drug plan for only charging me $3 per prescription. I am also struck by the similarity of my plight for much of the day to paralysis. I'm not sure whether to admire the moxie of paralyzed people or scorn them for not committing suicide. I'm sure I would seriously consider it if this was a permanent condition.
Even as I begin walking, it's definitely not my normal stride or speed. It worsens as I go, and soon I realize I can't walk all the way to class; I need to sit immediately. There is a convenient pair of couches in the hall. A girl is typing on her laptop on one of them; I sit on the other one. After about 5 minutes, the pain is getting worse, so I lie down on the couch. This gives me a bit of relief, until I realize that trying to sit up, stand up, or even roll a bit or lift my legs up sends me into agonizing pain. I wait about 10 minutes in hopes of the pain subsiding, but it only gets worse. At this point, I realize that it's necessary to get help. Unfortunately, I don't have a cell phone, and I can't move my torso more than a small wriggle without unbearable pain.
At this point, laptop girl probably suspects I'm hitting on her when I break out with "This may sound strange, but something is wrong with my back, and I can't even sit up." She offers to physically help me up, but that idea is agony waiting to happen. I ask if she can call someone. She calls her boyfriend (sigh) who in turn calls the campus emergency people (non-sigh). They quickly decide that an ambulance is warranted, and while we wait for it, one of them regales me with stories about how he took sociology, hates being a campus emergency guy, and wishes he'd taken physics.
When the paramedics arrive, it's painful to even get me into the gurney, but we manage it. While in the ambulance, they inform me that there's a charge for the ambulance. I briefly consider being annoyed that they didn't give me a chance to decline the ambulance, but then I realize: I couldn't walk! What am I going to do, wriggle to the hospital? I wouldn't have even made it to the campus building's door yet. Also, the cost was only $45.00, so it could be a lot worse. En route, the ambulance stalls. Auspicious. As we're pulling into the hospital driveway, the ambulance stalls again, in the middle of the entranceway, and this time for good. Thankfully, we were at the hospital so this didn't really affect me.
As the bitter campus emergency guy had informed me, the paramedics are required to wait with me until the hospital lets me in. During this time, I have to urinate, and am presented with a folding screen for privacy and a bottle. I didn't feel particularly dignified, but not having to pee anymore can be quite the relief. After an hour and a half or so, I am taken to a hospital room, where I wait for another three hours or so, and fill another two bottles. I also convince the nurse to leave a message for Lisa so that she knows what's happening. Finally, I note that restlessness is a much bigger problem when moving around at all hurts.
At long last, the doctor arrives, and spends all of 30 seconds with me before (accurately) realizing that I need painkillers or he won't even be able to test me. Cue another 30 min wait for the anesthesiologist to show up. When she does, the drug (Demerol) has to be injected into my ass muscle. Apparently its size makes it ideal for this purpose for some reason. Cue a 30 min wait to let the drug kick in. It doesn't. In order to inject the other one, Toradol, I am literally required to turn the other cheek. I feel violated. Cue another 30 min wait to let the drug kick in.
Finally I am taken to have X-rays done. I am still unable to move from lying down to sitting up or standing, but thanks to the Toradol I am barely able to roll over onto the X-ray table. At first, some coins fall out of my pocket, and I inadvertently roll on them, ruining the first image. Removing the coins is ridiculously difficult as I have lots of trouble raising my torso and pelvis. While the X-ray guy is removing the coins, he (either accidentally or very smoothly) gets a bit of a feel of my junk. I feel violated. The X-rays are taken. Cue another wait for someone to bring me back to the room. Cue another wait for the doctor to show up again.
When he does show up, he doesn't really tell me what the x-rays showed or what he thinks caused it (I might have asked were I not so out of it). He does, however, tell me that he thinks it will get better on its own soon, and prescribes an anti-inflammatory, and percocet for the pain. He also warns me that if I experience bowel or bladder control issues, then something terrible is happening and I need to go back to the hospital immediately. With this, he verifies that I can now sit and stand (both barely) and sets me free. Never mind that I can't even put my shoes on, and nearly pass out upon standing up (I have to lie down immediately and wait for a few minutes). In fairness, that might be because I had only eaten half a bowl of cereal at that point, itself due largely to having spent 8 hours in a hospital. I voice my concerns, but shakily walk out to the waiting room.
I call our apartment. No answer. Lisa has probably gotten the message and tried to come meet me. As I debate waiting for her or calling Claire and Bevin begging for a ride, I note how annoying it is that all my TO friends with cars are people I interact with largely over MSN, and I don't know their phone numbers. After approximately 60 seconds of thinking about this, I spot Lisa and her sister, who kindly drove us to the drugstore.
During the car ride, I nearly pass out again, but some fresh air and an iced tea subdue that problem. I am grateful for Lisa buying me a sub, Lisa's sister driving, and the York TA drug plan for only charging me $3 per prescription. I am also struck by the similarity of my plight for much of the day to paralysis. I'm not sure whether to admire the moxie of paralyzed people or scorn them for not committing suicide. I'm sure I would seriously consider it if this was a permanent condition.
posted by Gideon Humphrey at 11:19 PM
8 Comments:
How about those wait times? I'm happy we have universal health care and all, but man, that's quite a bit of time spent being in pain without any immediate prospect of feeling better.
I can't believe how long you had to wait just to get attention.
I'm not particularly shocked. During the wait, I did think to myself "Is this God trying to be ironic because I've been attacking US health care a lot of late?", but in fairness, many of the waits were due to requiring different people or wait for a drug to kick in, i.e. changing queues. And $51.00 total for an ambulance ride, attention from two paramedics, one doctor, one anesthesiologist, one x-ray technician, and two nurses, and two prescriptions including percocet, isn't much at all to pay.
Also in fairness, I was reasonably comfortable while lying still, so I can't have ranked high on their priority list. I'd imagine their code blue in the dialysis unit was more important. In other words, I wasn't in much pain for most of the time I was there; I was just not really able to move around or do anything.
Dudes.
In the USA, Gideon would have been turned away because would not be able to afford the x-rays or the $300-$500 a month health insurance coverage for a man in his twenties. He could ahve gotten $3 prescriptions at the local Wal*mart. He also, if he could afford the x-rays, would have waited just as long. The short waiting time is actually determined by the amount of money you pay for certain levels of treatment. At least Gid was seen in order of priority. Remember, the short waiting time argument is only valid for people who have enough money to stand in front of you as soon as they come into the building.
Gid,
I hope you're continuing to improve. As a regular user of both countries' health systems, I have to say each has its advantages and that I'm lucky to be able to access both.
As for feeling violated, with a major illness like mine or an acute situation like yours, it's the norm. You start giving up a sense of ownership of your body.
Love
For the record, the lines about feeling violated were really just joking. My emotional state for the day was never violated so much as frustrated and helpless.
Dang, what a nightmare! I hope you keep feeling better & better.
Wow, Gid, that sucks. For the record you can call me or Bevin anytime (speaking for Bevin blatantly here as of course I don't actually drive the car... but I would come pick you up in a cab!)
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